10 Wake and Bake Commandments for Perfect Morning Tokes

wake and bake commandments


The true definition of  a wake and bake is debatable. Some smokers would claim that a true wake and bake is when you beginning smoke immediately after waking up. For the purpose of this post I’m going to go broad and consider a wake and bake to be any time you smoke shortly after waking up.

Don’t take these commandments to heart. Rules are made to be broken, especially on your off days.

1. Thou shalt have no shower before me.

Try to smoke before you take a shower. This will ensure that you are flying high without wreaking of smoke.

[Tweet “I like getting nice a toasty before taking my shower. #WakeandBake”]

2. Thou shalt make unto thee an awesome breakfast.

Compliment your smoke session with a nice hearty breakfast. Start your day with a smoke session and a full stomach, and you’re on your way to the best day ever.

[Tweet “Wake and bake is the most important smoke of the day. #WakeandBake”]

3. Thou shalt not brush teeth in vain.

Wait until after you smoke to brush your teeth to keep your breath nice and fresh.

[Tweet “Get stoned then get ready. Flying high and smelling fresh. #WakeandBake”]

4. Remember the time and keep on rolling.

Do you have somewhere to be that day? Make sure you keep an eye on the clock, so you don’t lose track of time.

[Tweet “I have to set my clock back 10 minutes to #WakeandBake.”]

5. Honor thy shirt and thy pants.

Don’t wear your day’s outfit during a wake and bake session. Just smoke in your pajamas. You don’t want to go to work with your shirt smelling like smoke or ash on your pants.

[Tweet “I’m only going to smoke in my pajamas from now on. #WakeandBake”]

6. Thou shalt not fall back asleep.

First thing in the morning it’s probably best to smoke a sativa strain if you have an option. You don’t want your high to make you fall back asleep and be late for something important. This only counts if you have something to do that day. On days off, laying around, smoking, and napping can be great therapy for a challenging week.

[Tweet “Hitting a bowl and hitting the snooze button basically accomplish the same thing. #WakeandBake”]

7. Thou shalt not hastefully smoke.

Wake up early enough to give yourself plenty of time to have a nice relaxing morning session. Trying to smoke as you run out the door can be a bit of a buzz kill.

[Tweet “It takes me so long to get ready. Most of the time is spent smoking. #WakeandBake”]

8. Thou shalt not forget liquids.

No smoke session is complete without something to drink. You don’t want your throat to be scratchy first thing in the morning. I suggest a tall glass of orange juice.

[Tweet “Grab me two bottles of water. One of them is for the bong. #WakeandBake”]

9. Thou shalt not bear red eyes.

Is the public going to see you today? Do your eyes look bloodshot? Make sure you keep a bottle of eyedrops in stock. Seriously, they’re like 2 bucks.

[Tweet “Do you think they’ll believe me if I say my eyes are red from allergies? #WakeandBake”]

10. Thou shalt not smell up thy neighbors house or hallway.

Remember that when you’re up before work so are many other people, including kids leaving for school. Be considerate of your neighbors. If you live in an apartment put a wet towel at the bottom of the door.

[Tweet “A blunt for me, and a wet towel at the door for my neighbors. #WakeandBake”]

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