11 Stoner Problems You Could Have Avoided

All stoners go through the same problems. The hashtag #StonerProblems has been seen all across Twitter, Tumblr, and all sorts of other social media sites. Here is an illustrated list of 11 stoner problems along with a simple (and often obvious) solution. I hope you enjoy!

1. You Ran Out Of Weed.

no weed #stonerproblems illustration It’s a sad day when your stash runs dry. It’s seems like it was just yesterday your jar was full. Well, maybe it was full yesterday – I don’t know your story. Either way, dry spells suck.

Solution: There isn’t a really easy solution for this one. It depends on why you don’t have weed. Money problems? Don’t have anywhere to get it? The best I can tell you is to get a good paying job in Colorado.

[Tweet “How much is a one-way bus ticket to Colorado? #StonerProblems”]

2. You Lost Your Lighter, Again.

stoner problems no lighter Everything is perfect. You have your favorite music playing and the bowl is packed. You also poured a glass of your favorite beverage. You get ready to light the bowl and realize you don’t have your trusty lighter. All of a sudden everything is not perfect.

Solution: Get an awkward lighter that is less likely to get pocketed or taken out into the big bad world. A grill lighter tends to stick around.

[Tweet “I searched the couch cushions for my red lighter. I found 7 lighters. No red.“]

3. You Have Weed, But You Don’t Have Anything To Put It In.

stoner problems weed but no bowl You just scored some killer bud. You can’t wait to get it out and start smoking. You suddenly realized you forgot to bring anything to actually smoke the bud. You scour the area for a paper or pipe, but to no avail. You, my friend, have got a stoner problem.

Solution: It’s time go MacGyver on this situation. Just about any food can be used to smoke out of. Check out our tutorials for apple pipes and starburst pipes. In the end, you just have to get creative. I once smoked a bowl with nothing but a fork.

[Tweet “Dank Weed – Bowl = #StonerProblems”]

4. You Smell Like Pot

stoner problems smell weed graphic This may not be such a bad thing. Many people have attracted mates based on this smell. However, this scent isn’t appropriate for every occasion. You don’t want to be that guy at your little cousins birthday party.

Solution: There are lots of solutions to this problem. Generally smoking outside helps. You can also vape, try edibles, or smoke naked.

[Tweet “Is that weed I smell, or do I smell like weed? #StonerProblems”]

5. Red Eyes

stoner problems red eyes bloodshoot “Hey, are my eyes red?” If you have to ask… Oh, you have allergies. Sure you do.

Solution: Dude, just get some eye drops. They’re super cheap. Sunglasses are cool too, but someone walking around a store in aviators looks just as high as someone with bloodshot eyes.

[Tweet “Stabbing your eye with a dropper bottle doesn’t help the situation. #StonerProblems”]

6. You Got Ash on Your Clothes

#stonerproblems ash on clothes About half way through a blunt you let your guard down. Carelessly, you forget to flick the ash. As you take a monster hit the pile of ashes falls right on your favorite shirt. You quickly wipe it away to reveal a nice, big gray smudge. Worst. Day. Ever.

Solution: Don’t wipe the ash! Always blow the ash off your clothes – it usually leaves no mark at all.

[Tweet “I hate it when ash gets on my clothes. I’m only wearing gray from now on. #StonerProblems”]

7. Cotton Mouth

cotton mouth graphic stoner problems The bud you’re smoking is so good. You finish a bowl with your friends, and lean back in your chair. All of a sudden your mouth turns into a desert. You are not alone. In fact, 10 out of 10 pot smokers experience cotton mouth at some point. I made that statistic up, but It’s probably true.

Solution: This stoner problem is common, but so easily avoided. Have a drink handy. I know, some of these solutions are just common sense. Agreed! Just make it a point to always have something to drink before you start smoking. It will enhance the entire experience.

[Tweet “I’ve got weed and a bowl, but I’m out of apple juice. #StonerProblems”]

8. You’ve Got the Munchies

stoner problems munchies cartoon

…. and Funyuns. Weed makes you hungry. Sometimes weed makes you eat everything in the kitchen. Not much is worse than your stomach killing your buzz.

Solution: Again, what do you want me to say here? You just gotta make food acquisition an important role in preparing for a smoke session. Try using my new and improved method for making an apple pipe. If you use this method you have a nice snack to munch on as you smoke.

[Tweet “If you can’t contribute weed to the circle, then you should bring snacks. #StonerProblems”]

9. You Forgot if You Hit the Bowl

stoner problems forgot hit bowl


You were probably in the middle of a long winded story. I’m sure it was epic. You eventually realize that you have been holding the bowl for the entire time. Now comes the difficult part – trying to determine if you hit the bowl or not.

Solution: My friends and I have always had rule: If you can’t remember if you hit the bowl then you probably don’t need that hit. If you have to ask, then just go ahead and pass.

[Tweet “If you can’t remember if you hit the bowl, go ahead and pass it. #StonerProblems”]

10.You Forgot Who to Pass it to

forgot pass bowl stoner problems


There you go again with your long stories. This time you can remember who it goes to, where it came from, and perhaps what year it is.

Solution: To the left. Always to the left.

[Tweet “Always to the left #StonerProblems”]

11. People Always Bumming Your Weed

#stonerproblems bumming weed

Nothing makes new friends quicker than the smell of some dank weed. Sometimes you may want to make friends. Other times, you may want to chill by yourself and not give your bud away.

Solution: Try saying this right before some moocher takes a hit: “Go ahead. You can really taste the formaldehyde I added.”

[Tweet “Nothing makes friends quicker than the smell of dank weed. #StonerProblems”]


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  • Rolandsfunnyface says:

    I’m sitting here high as a kite and reading these and one made me laugh so hard, I scared my poor kitty cats! I’m still laughing!

  • Nilla Wafers says:

    Chewing gum or having a lollipop help with cotton mouth! Or eat fruit, that helps with munchies, too!

  • SmokeyMicPot says:

    11. Spilling the weed

  • Jack says:

    Solution for #1! I have an old grinder that I throw 2 or 3 “safety nugs” in so that once my main stash runs out I can get those for true emergency situations. And usually by the time my stash is empty, I forgot about the emergency stash and then I remember and Im just like THANK YOU ME

  • Rick Oliver L.C. says:

    #StonerProblem 12…
    i cant wait, 🙂
    from: Philippines w/Love

  • Stoner Matt says:

    #10 should end with: “…unless it’s at night, then pass it to the right.” Good article though! 😉

  • Malina says:

    This made me laugh so much! The forgetting if you hit the bowl made me crack up, I have done this so many times (mostly with bongs as that’s my preferred method) while telling a super stupid story!! Hahaha My stoner problems are definitely super intense munchies and legality! Hopefully soon! Sending love and thanks for the laughs from Australia!

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