All stoners go through the same problems. The hashtag #StonerProblems has been seen all across Twitter, Tumblr, and all sorts of other social media sites. Here is an illustrated list of 11 stoner problems along with a simple (and often obvious) solution. I hope you enjoy!
1. You Ran Out Of Weed.
Solution: There isn’t a really easy solution for this one. It depends on why you don’t have weed. Money problems? Don’t have anywhere to get it? The best I can tell you is to get a good paying job in Colorado.
2. You Lost Your Lighter, Again.
Everything is perfect. You have your favorite music playing and the bowl is packed. You also poured a glass of your favorite beverage. You get ready to light the bowl and realize you don’t have your trusty lighter. All of a sudden everything is not perfect.
Solution: Get an awkward lighter that is less likely to get pocketed or taken out into the big bad world. A grill lighter tends to stick around.
3. You Have Weed, But You Don’t Have Anything To Put It In.
You just scored some killer bud. You can’t wait to get it out and start smoking. You suddenly realized you forgot to bring anything to actually smoke the bud. You scour the area for a paper or pipe, but to no avail. You, my friend, have got a stoner problem.
Solution: It’s time go MacGyver on this situation. Just about any food can be used to smoke out of. Check out our tutorials for apple pipes and starburst pipes. In the end, you just have to get creative. I once smoked a bowl with nothing but a fork.
4. You Smell Like Pot
This may not be such a bad thing. Many people have attracted mates based on this smell. However, this scent isn’t appropriate for every occasion. You don’t want to be that guy at your little cousins birthday party.
Solution: There are lots of solutions to this problem. Generally smoking outside helps. You can also vape, try edibles, or smoke naked.
5. Red Eyes
Solution: Dude, just get some eye drops. They’re super cheap. Sunglasses are cool too, but someone walking around a store in aviators looks just as high as someone with bloodshot eyes.
6. You Got Ash on Your Clothes
About half way through a blunt you let your guard down. Carelessly, you forget to flick the ash. As you take a monster hit the pile of ashes falls right on your favorite shirt. You quickly wipe it away to reveal a nice, big gray smudge. Worst. Day. Ever.
Solution: Don’t wipe the ash! Always blow the ash off your clothes – it usually leaves no mark at all.
7. Cotton Mouth
The bud you’re smoking is so good. You finish a bowl with your friends, and lean back in your chair. All of a sudden your mouth turns into a desert. You are not alone. In fact, 10 out of 10 pot smokers experience cotton mouth at some point. I made that statistic up, but It’s probably true.
Solution: This stoner problem is common, but so easily avoided. Have a drink handy. I know, some of these solutions are just common sense. Agreed! Just make it a point to always have something to drink before you start smoking. It will enhance the entire experience.
8. You’ve Got the Munchies
…. and Funyuns. Weed makes you hungry. Sometimes weed makes you eat everything in the kitchen. Not much is worse than your stomach killing your buzz.
Solution: Again, what do you want me to say here? You just gotta make food acquisition an important role in preparing for a smoke session. Try using my new and improved method for making an apple pipe. If you use this method you have a nice snack to munch on as you smoke.
9. You Forgot if You Hit the Bowl
You were probably in the middle of a long winded story. I’m sure it was epic. You eventually realize that you have been holding the bowl for the entire time. Now comes the difficult part – trying to determine if you hit the bowl or not.
Solution: My friends and I have always had rule: If you can’t remember if you hit the bowl then you probably don’t need that hit. If you have to ask, then just go ahead and pass.
10.You Forgot Who to Pass it to
There you go again with your long stories. This time you can remember who it goes to, where it came from, and perhaps what year it is.
Solution: To the left. Always to the left.
11. People Always Bumming Your Weed
Nothing makes new friends quicker than the smell of some dank weed. Sometimes you may want to make friends. Other times, you may want to chill by yourself and not give your bud away.
Solution: Try saying this right before some moocher takes a hit: “Go ahead. You can really taste the formaldehyde I added.”
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